Failure

Today was the day that I was supposed to finish the third part of my licensing for my job.  I royally screwed up.  I suppose that I should have seen it coming.  I did not prepare in the same manner that I did with the first 2 parts.  I guess I thought I was learning more from my on-the-job experience.  I thought wrong!

Now I am in this situation where I do not know if I passed… I have to wait an entire month for this computerized licensing exam to be “graded” and decide my fate.  I don’t know what I will do if I fail.  I cannot re-take this test.  It’s not like the second time around I would get the same questions and have a shot at doing any better.  There would be new questions, new scenarios, and the same likelihood of screwing up royally.  I’m so disappointed in myself…

What has happened to me?!  I used to be on top of it all.  My friends still call me, “the smartest person” they know.  If only they knew that I was now a failure.  That I was now the one who was not at the top of her game.  The one who forgot how hard she worked for the performance she got on the first 2 parts of the licensure, and just at life in general.  I’m now just bitter, angry, sleep-deprived, and lonely.

Nothing makes me happy anymore… I have to figure out a way to change this.  And I’m sure failing this was not the start.

What Am I Doing?

Well I think it is time to start reposting on this blog.  Obviously, it’s been over a year… shoot damn near 2 years since I posted on this blog. But considering this one was “discovered” by the party at hand I had to lay low.  I have another blog that I write on, and that one was “discovered” too… I guess I need to be better at opening my mouth.  Anyhow, I decided to start posting on here the things that I can’t post on my other blog.

Now on to this post… What the hell am I doing?  I made a big decision… I moved… for a man.  Well, for what I thought was for a man.  I held up my part of the bargain and got a job in a new city and was ready to start my life with this man.  Well here I am months later and he has not gotten here.  As much as I love my job, no job is life-fulfilling.  He has still not moved to my (yes my, no longer our) new city.

I keep waiting and waiting for him to move.  I mean, I know that the economy sucks, but WHAT THE FUCK!!!! It should not take this long to get a job.  I mean shouldn’t his love for me, his desire to be with me, be enough motivation to find a job, and find one quick?!  Apparently not.   I am stuck here. Signing contracts for work suck because you have to stay. All alone.

Signing contracts for work suck.

Thank You

For reading my innermost personal thoughts, I hope you were entertained…

Peace.

First Rant

I’ve had a couple of friends tell me how great this blogging thing is.  I thought I would give it a try.  I am pretty good at finding things to complain about and nobody really likes to hear somebody complain.  So, what better to do than write a blog so that millions can hear it all! I’m pretty sure that somebody will relate to what I have to say, so hopefully this can be a place where other people can vent too.  Today I really don’t have much to say.  I’ve already wasted too much time deciding what the hell to put on the sidebar and which picture to save for the heading. 

Why aren’t there more hours in the day!?