Today was the day that I was supposed to finish the third part of my licensing for my job. I royally screwed up. I suppose that I should have seen it coming. I did not prepare in the same manner that I did with the first 2 parts. I guess I thought I was learning more from my on-the-job experience. I thought wrong!
Now I am in this situation where I do not know if I passed… I have to wait an entire month for this computerized licensing exam to be “graded” and decide my fate. I don’t know what I will do if I fail. I cannot re-take this test. It’s not like the second time around I would get the same questions and have a shot at doing any better. There would be new questions, new scenarios, and the same likelihood of screwing up royally. I’m so disappointed in myself…
What has happened to me?! I used to be on top of it all. My friends still call me, “the smartest person” they know. If only they knew that I was now a failure. That I was now the one who was not at the top of her game. The one who forgot how hard she worked for the performance she got on the first 2 parts of the licensure, and just at life in general. I’m now just bitter, angry, sleep-deprived, and lonely.
Nothing makes me happy anymore… I have to figure out a way to change this. And I’m sure failing this was not the start.
